Is work running your life? Taking back control may be easier than you think.

In a perfect world you’d have 100% control over your career.

You’d have the power to do what you wanted, how you wanted and when you wanted to.

But I’m guessing you don’t always feel 100% in control.

Between your demanding boss, a 24/7 influx of emails, and the due-yesterday deadlines most days it can feel like work runs your life instead of the other way around. And those are just the overt ways work has taken control.

What about the subtle signs that hint you might have given up control?

How often do you answer work emails in the middle of dinner? Lose sleep because of work stress? Commit tentatively to plans with friends or family because you think work might call? Find that you don’t have the energy to do anything outside of work? Or engage in coping mechanisms to erase the day?

I’ve been there, once you’ve given up control it can feel like you don’t have a choice – that allowing work to run your life is just the way it is.

I am here to tell you – it doesn’t have to be this way. You always have a choice.

I find that a lot of my clients struggle with wanting to take back control, but don’t know how or where to start the process.

Together we work on helping them regain control through boundaries.

Choosing, creating and keeping boundaries is key to not feeling like work runs your life. Setting and keeping boundaries is a critical life skill, one that a lot of us do not come by easily. I only became really good at setting them once mine had been grossly overstepped.

Setting boundaries helps us live by our personal values and communicate what is acceptable vs. unacceptable. Without meaningful boundaries, we often feel as though something or someone else is running our life.

Why meaningful boundaries? Because the reality of the work is that your job comes with certain requirements; you are required to abide by certain expectations, behaviors and activities regardless of what you value most. Being mindful about the boundaries you hold will minimize conflict between meeting the requirements and honoring yourself.

Choosing boundaries.

If you are going to bother with boundaries, make sure they speak to what is most important to you in life.

Dedicating time to teaching yoga is really important to my personal and professional life. My early morning class starts my day off on the right way, but makes it hard to make it to work by 9 am. In my last two job searches I clearly communicated what an important part of my life this is, the benefit to my work, and my willingness to stay later in the day to make up the missed time. As a result I was able to both teach and work.

It’s probably not realistic to enact boundaries for every area of your life. Start small and choose one to two that are really important.

Creating boundaries.

Once you’ve chosen, it’s time to decide what honoring and protecting that value means to you. Maybe it means always being home for dinner, not answering emails on vacation, or setting and protecting time for personal development. Clearly define what you are asking for, what compromises you might be willing to make and then speak with your manager and team about putting them in place.

Keeping boundaries.

This is actually the hardest step. Life happens. When it does others will want to overstep your boundaries, and you will be tempted. Hold firm. I recently heard about a man who’s volleyball league was his number one priority. Time for games was the one untouchable boundary he set at work and because he was strict about it – everyone respected it. If you respect your boundaries, others will too.

Its amazing how protecting what is most important to you – actually helps you take control over your life.

Now I want to hear from you. Leave your comments below.

• What boundaries have you set?

• How did you communicate them?

• How do you stay true to them?

• And how does having boundaries prevent you from feeling like work runs your life?